By: Youhan Kafai | April 14th, 2023
The topic of mindfulness has become increasingly prevalent over the past few years, as we as a society try to integrate a higher emotional awareness into our daily routines. We have realized that there resides great value in the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, as it fosters a conscious mentality of fairness, acceptance and respect. However, mindfulness can also be a burdensome endeavor, as you are constantly paying attention to accommodating other people’s welfare and behavior.
This is especially true and hurtful when someone exploits and takes advantage of your goodwill and undermines you for the sake of their own benefit. As a result, many struggle or refuse to practice mindfulness because it is interpreted as a sign of weakness and an inability to assert their own will.
While there is some truth in this, it does not negate the essence of a healthy practice of mindfulness void. The key lies within establishing clear boundaries that allow you to easily apply the mindfulness methods—ones which allow you to simultaneously think for yourself and others. Thus, the following five steps will exemplify different ways and perspectives in which you can conscientiously apply the art of mindfulness.
1. Empathy In The Relationship With Your Environment.
Every individual person’s life is first and foremost built on making sure that they are happy and safe in their surroundings. This is a natural and inborn need that requires you to put yourself first and make sure that you dictate your life the way you want, and with the people that you want. However, recognizing that the person standing opposite or next to you, is also pursuing this goal makes you realize that we are all constantly facing and living with the same internal struggles, fears, and conflicts as everyone else.
As you begin to understand and embrace this reality, you see that we are all on the same journey of fulfillment and happiness. Furthermore, you will start to naturally empathize with your peers since you know that their actions are based on a wish for personal freedom and love, just like you.
2. Practice Truly Listening.
When one of your friends wants to tell you something, the only way to fully understand their problem is to devote your full undivided attention to what they say and the way they say it. If you distract yourself by thinking about something else, you will not be able to fully grasp the entirety of the issue.
Everyone wants and needs to be listened to—meaning you can offer and feel love by creating this intimate and precious space for your peer. Giving this unwavering attention to a person can allow you to observe the problem as it is. Set aside your personal judgment that is bound to constrain and misrepresent the reality of the situation. The problem cannot be solved if you try to understand it only from your perspective.
Therefore, temporarily put yourself aside and completely dedicate to letting the problem flourish as it exists, admit that you are of secondary importance, but of upmost value in finding the solution for them.
3. Choose To Act With Kindness.
It is easy to forget how an act of gentle kindness can affect the people around you and yourself. It symbolizes and emits a feeling of warmth and forgiveness—one that shows that we are all capable of love when we want to. It is equally easy and fair to choose not to act with goodwill, as we often find ourselves in situations where it feels as if the world is fighting against us.
However, choosing to transform our pain into kindness can also represents a huge step in healing ourselves. Acknowledge the universal struggle within every human on earth and display a willingness to concede that we all have our individual imperfections.
Furthermore, foster an attitude that does not seek to blame and judge others for their faults, but rather a curious and attentive mind that is actively trying to understand and attentively observe the world around us.
4. Sit With Stillness.
There are times when it can be challenging to find time to truly be alone with oneself, away from all the distractions. We rarely seek those moments of getting to know ourselves in complete stillness, listening to where our mind takes us when there is no external interference.
It is in these moments that one appreciates the value of stillness, as it reveals to us what our deepest fears, worries, and anxieties are. This space gives us access to acknowledging and facing this internal chaos—one that becomes more apparent when you really pay attention to what you are feeling. As you practice this form of meditation, you will begin to enjoy the silence, as it allows you to decompress and become aware of healing yourself.
This is then accompanied by an unavoidable external mindfulness, as your own peace will seep into taking care and nourishing your personal environment. You will begin to distance yourself from engaging with anger and hatred, and being pulled toward constant self-improvement, and dedicated to showing humanity whenever you can.
5. Think Beyond Yourself.
One of the most fundamental aspects of mindfulness is being aware that the world exists beyond you. Although you experience yourself as the most important person in the world, you are similarly confronted with the fact that every single human in the world feels this exact emotion. This induces a great humility and appreciation of the present moment that you experience on your own, while sharing it with others. We are all partaking in finite individual experiences that spontaneously intertwine with the infinite universe.
This imposing thought makes you then fully question the importance of material possessions, the thirst for power and the meaning of absolute right or wrong. By letting go of living for self, you are instead compelled to seek to investigate your personal and harmonious relationship with the world around you. You recognize that the entire universe consists of yourself, as well as a whole life beyond you.
In its most idealistic form, you feel that your life means nothing and everything at the same time, creating a space for immense gratitude, modesty and curiosity.
Using these five steps, you can practice mindfulness in a conscientious way.